Get Saved

Heaven’s gonna be so neat.

You’ll be able to buy all the jewelry you want and you can fly, or just beam yourself if you don’t wanna deal with flying. And there’ll be all-you-can-eat lobster buffet and mountains of pancakes and milkshake lakes. And there’ll be talking alligators and laser light shows every night and insane roller coasters and waterbeds and karaoke and Jacuzzis and ping pong tables and you’ll be able to ride cheetahs and buy superpowers like breathing underwater and shooting ice rays out your fingertips. And everyone is gonna’ be super tan and have huge muscles–It’s gonna be sweet!

Miss out and you’re gonna be super bummed.

So if you wanna rule Heaven with Jesus then read the prayer below and come along.

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